This week’s edition of the Slate/Treehugger Green Challenge focuses on the holidays. Keeping in mind that no one actually diets during the holidays, I figured that carbon diets would be no different, and as it turns out I was right.

There was nothing I was willing to pledge to do to reduce my footprint other than recycle my holiday waste, which I was going to do anyway. That saves a statistically insignificant 15 lbs. I could have agreed to purchase various kinds of carbon offsets for the people on my list, but I’m thinking that would go over as well as, well, a lump of coal.

Speaking of lumps of coal, though, in an effort to reduce my carbon footprint in ways that aren’t recognized by Slate and Treehugger, I will no longer be giving lumps of coal to all the bad kids on my list. Instead they will recieve broken shards of solar panels and pieces of old windmills. That’ll teach ’em.

And so, this week I take no cars off the road and hold fast at the 32% reduction in my original footprint that I hit last week.