None of them big words here, according to this site:

It was interesting to have it scan peruse individual categories, though. My posts missives on Lost, movies and current events reveal more book learnin’ a slightly more cultivated intellect…

while my gooder more erudite posts on stupid college boy wastes of time books seem more worthy of acclaim highest accolades…

Thanks (a lot) to E, George, and Fred for inspiring this little exercise in self-inflicted insult aspersion casting. I hope nobody thinks this blog sucks aspirates.

(I wonder what this post will do for my overall rating, what with them extra 50 dollar words added in.)

Two years ago today I started this blog. It seems especially amusing that I’m taking a break from not blogging to blog about how long I’ve been blogging.

I’m almost finished with the second draft of my novel, which means that in the next few days I’ll return to the ’sphere while I let others pick apart the book. I no longer have any idea if I’m making it better or worse by working on it.

I look forward to writing again in the cheap thrills and instant gratification world of blog where the first draft is the final draft.

We did not wash away in the floods, though I’m still trying to collect two of every greyhound for the ark I’ve been building. Unfortunately, they are each individuals, so I’m only able to find one of each.

Mainly, I hadn’t blogged because I wanted to finish my book. I didn’t want to sit at the computer writing and not be writing that, so blog went by the wayside to meet my self-imposed end of June deadline. I made it with a few days to spare.

The manuscript came in at 249 pages or 66,ooo words. A short novel, called A Short Time to Be There, at least for now. When I went back and looked at the early pages written before I really knew the characters or the pace of the story, I found a few chapters and some scenes that I didn’t really need, so I found myself going with Stephen King’s dictum: 2nd draft = 1st draft - 10%. When that 10% comes from the front end, things start to move better. Redundancies disappear.

I finished the book last week. The next day R’s grandmother died so we had to go to Orange to help with arrangements before the funeral. She died in her sleep at her home without any illness or hospitalization a few weeks shy of her 87th birthday. It was a tough surprise, but then it’s hard to imagine a better way to go.

On the long drive east to Orange, we saw a coyote standing on the side of the road outside Elgin. He ran when he saw us. We spotted a red-tailed hawk perched on a power line near Houston. A bobcat ran across the road in front of us in Orange. I never see that much wildlife from my car. I had never seen a bobcat before. The weather was weird too. Powerful storms kicking up while we were in church, where she was honored, and also right before the funeral.

My mind kept going back to Caesar: “When beggars die there are no comets seen; the heavens themselves blaze forth the death of princes.”

Of course she wasn’t royalty or even a prince, but she was noble. She would help anyone who needed it. She took in the lost. She never gave up on anybody.

George has memed me.

The Rules:

1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. (You’re not the boss of me!)
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

The Eight Facts:

1. Five years ago, I painted the entire interior of our old house (including trim) and even hung crown moulding. I’m painting the interior of the new house now. It hurts more this time.
2. I’m 113 pages into my next novel. It’s been called Right of Way and also A Short Time to Be There. I plan to have it finished by early July. It feels about a third of the way done.
3. I was born in Newport, Rhode Island. I did my first three years of high school there. Despite that, I really don’t care much for lobster. Of course, I don’t like cockroaches either. But I do like crabs despite the fact that I don’t like spiders. Go figure.
4. I’m not psychic, but one night in May 1995, I was listening to a Dead Hour and I knew Jerry Garcia wasn’t going to be around much longer. I convinced my girlfriend (now my wife) and two friends (who chickened out) to drive from Austin to Washington, DC to see the Dead at RFK Stadium that June. We went. It was awesome. Jerry died two months later.
5. I have a bachelor’s degree in film production and an MA in screenwriting. Despite that, I rarely watch movies anymore. Maybe it’s because for the life of me I can’t figure out why anyone still makes movies now that Lord of the Rings has been made. Perfection was achieved. Let’s move on.
6. The first rock concert I ever saw was a Cheap Trick show in Naples, Italy. I had no idea who they were, and I still don’t.
7. For the past three weeks U2’s Unforgettable Fire has been in my car. I’ve had it for years, I’ve always liked it, but for some reason all of a sudden, it’s all I want to listen to. Over and over again. I’ll do that until it gets old again.
8. My favorite snack is a tortilla with cheese melted on it (in the microwave) with some Vietnamese Túóng Ót Sriracha sauce (red sauce with a rooster on the bottle) slathered all over it. Side of peanuts and a glass of cold water.

The Eight Victims:

1. Heather
2. Jessica
3. Iowa Greyhound
4. Ironicus
5. Panthergirl
6. Mark
7. Danigirl 
8. Anyone who reads this post

Nyah-nyah-nayh

This is amazing. It’s from an interview with writer Shiela Kohler (who?) about the apparently dying institution of print book reviews and the emergence of lit blogs via Critical Mass (h/t to Conversational Reading for the link):

Q. Does your work get reviewed/discussed much on literary blogs? If so, how do those reviews compare with print reviews of your books?

A.Occasionally someone may mention my books in a blog. I believe the dangers of this indiscriminate reporting on books is that people who have no knowledge of literature can air their views as though they were of value and may influence readers. Critics may not always be right, of course, but at least they have read and studied literature, the great books, and have some outside knowledge to refer to when critiquing our work.

Sometimes a writer’s own words and arrogance will turn me off their work faster than any bad review of their work in print or - perish the thought - on some dirty blog rising from the fever swamps (like so much poison gas) to taint the discourse of the learned and influence the unwashed masses with his irrelevant and dangerous opinions. Sheesh.

One of the things many of us teachers wrestle with is how to bring technology into the classroom in a way that is meaningful, useful and relevant.

Here in Texas some of the state standards require us to have students use technology to communicate with writers outside the classroom. I can’t really do that one since I teach in a correctional facility, but I think it’s important for kids to be aware of social media and how to use it well and in ways that won’t embarrass them later.

I learned today that Mr. Powell at St George’s Technical High School in Delaware required his English classes to read and comment on web sites that reviewed the novel his students are currently reading: Laurie Halse Anderson’s Speak, which I reviewed back in February. One of the sites he asked his students to look at was mine. From his students, I received 83 comments at last count, making my Speak post the most commented post on this blog. By a long shot.

I haven’t yet read all of them (I had to work at work, you know), but I will. The ones I’ve read so far are honest, polite and direct. Everything a good blog comment should be.

Cheers to you and your students, Mr. Powell, and thanks for helping to get young people interested in both books and social media. It looks like your assignment worked pretty well. I’m enjoying the comments, so thanks to your students also for taking the time to write interesting things. Perhaps over the weekend, I’ll be able to respond to a few of them.

When I was but a newbie blogger, I wrote about listening to the audiobook version of Pepys’ Diary, in which Samuel Pepys wrote about his life as a Royal Navy administrator in seventeenth century London.

At the time I was new to blogging and found myself thinking about the old-fashioned diaries that provide historians with glimpses of times past and wondering if these diarists would have done things differently as bloggers. I imagined Old Sam Pepys having a blog and wondering what it would be like.

Today, I learned that Pepys does have a blog (h/t to infobong for the link) complete with RSS feeds so readers can subscribe to his daily entries. From what I remember, I doubt he’d want his wife subscribing, though.

Pepys posts entries from his diary each day. Today, we get to read his entry from April 26, 1664.

Fascinating stuff and an interesting way to experience literature.

It’s high time I caught up with this little homework assignment George left me last week. It is the biggest meme I’ve ever seen…

FOODOLOGY

Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A. Olive oil and vinegar

Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A. Thundercloud

Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A. Right now? Fonda San Miguel

Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A. 20%, 21%, whatever it takes

Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick off of?
A. Bread. I would make a model prisoner since bread and water are two of my favorite things

Q. What is your favorite type of gum?
A. I was required to renounce all gum when I became a teacher

TECHNOLOGY

Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A. At home: this

At work, this view from our hotel last summer:

Q. How many televisions are in your house?
A. Two

BIOLOGY

Q. What’s your best feature?
A. I never directed a feature, only a few shorts.

Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A. Wisdom teeth and some front teeth when I was a kid

Q. Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
A. Maybe I have a sixth sense that’s good for something

Q. When was the last time you had a cavity?
A. A few years ago

Q. What is the heaviest item you lifted last?
A. Forty pounds of toxic dog food

Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A. Yes. I’m told I went skiing in Colorado in 1991. There is, however, no proof of this.

BULLSHITOLOGY

Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A. Only if I could do something about it

Q. Is love for real?
A. Yes. Can I get a witness over here?

Q. If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
A. Heironymous or Wolfgang, I go back and forth

Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A. Blue

Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A. By mistake, no. In fact, I swallowed an ibuprofen just this morning

Q. Have you ever saved someone’s life?
A. I’m told I have.

Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A. I don’t know.

DAREOLOGY

Q. Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
A. Perhaps out in the country

Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A. Prostitution isn’t my thing

Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
A. No

Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A. No, but someday I might never blog again for free

Q. Would you pose nude in a magazine for $250,000?
A. No.

Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000?
A. Hell, I might do that just for the bottle of hot sauce

Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
A. Never

Q. Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
A. Can I download episodes of Lost and watch them on an iPod?

Q. Give up MySpace forever for $30,000?
A. Yup

DUMBOLOGY

Q: What is in your left pocket?
A. iPod, memory stick, chapstick, contact lens solution

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A. I liked it.

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A. No

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A. Stand

Q: Could you live with roommates?
A. Not anymore

Q: How many pairs of flip-flops do you own?
A. None since I blew out the last pair, stepped on a pop top, and had to cruise on back home…

Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A. I run into them all the time at work

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A. This

LASTOLOGY

Q: Friend you talked to?
A. One of the other teachers at school

Q: Last person you called?
A. The vet

RANDOMOLOGY

Q: First place you went this morning?
A. The vet

Q: What can you not wait to do?
A. Finish my next novel

Q: What’s the last movie you saw?
A. Clue

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A. I try

Now that this towering meme is finished I tag (with humble apologies masking mischievous glee) my wife, Chris, and Danigirl.

Update: Keeping the meme alive - Danigirl, Chris,

Each week, when I do Weekend Hound Blogging, I insert the following at the end of the post:

***

Want to make a fast friend by saving a greyhound in Central Texas? Check these pups out. Or go here to find a greyhound near you. You can also go here to find out why greyhounds are running for their lives.

If you have dogs who need proven leadership, go here to find a cat.

This requires me to find an old post, copy and then paste the text into the new post. Surely, thought I, there must be an easier way, which got me thinking about trying to create a plugin to do that for me.

I studied some of the simpler in-post plugins I already use and tried to decipher the PHP.

I read “Writing a Plugin”, studied the “Plugin API” page and “Plugin API/Hooks”on the WordPress site, as well as “How to Write a Simple WordPress Plugin” on Asymptomatic. Then, I started putting together a PHP file, tinkering and playing until I eventually had a plugin that allows me to type:

[ saveagrey ]

(without the spaces) and have this appear:

***

Want to make a fast friend by saving a greyhound in Central Texas? Check these pups out. Or go here to find a greyhound near you. You can also go here to find out why greyhounds are running for their lives.

If you have dogs who need proven leadership, go here to find a cat.

The cool thing is that it can be easily changed so that the text and links go anywhere or say anything, which might make this useful for anyone who occasionally wants some message at the end of certain posts such as vote for so-and-so at the end of all political posts or something to that effect.

This little exercise was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed trying to decipher the PHP since I know nothing about that language. Ultimately it became something of a puzzle that could only be solved through logic. When I figured out the solutions to the problems I encountered, I was rewarded with something that will save me time and possibly be of use to anyone who uses WordPress and wants to help save retired racing greyhounds.

So, there it is. My first plugin: Save a Greyhound (click to go to the download page)

This is kind of stupid: Very useful features are hidden in WordPress 2.1 as “easter eggs”

Via Weblog Tools Collection and ReviewSaurus, I have learned that hitting ‘alt v’ (shift alt v in Firefox) while in the post editor brings up a variety of useful features such as underlining, changing text color, insert custom characters (©, œ, ü, ∞, ½, etc.) as well as some features forpasting from Word (which is useful for me since I sometimes write my posts in word) or pasting as plain text. You can also create headings and the like.

These are great features and shouldn’t be hidden. I wonder what else we’re missing out on.

Update: The Visualize Advanced Features plugin makes all of this visible.