Oh boy, oh boy! My first batch of political junk mail arrived today. Let’s start with a nice crisp folding card stock piece with a matte finish from the Texas GOP. It suggests that I “Vote for Your Texas Republican Team” just above pictures of the very same Texas Republicans who have already demonstrated what amounts to either an inability or an unwillingness to govern.

The inside portion is a handy list of all the early polling locations in my county along with the times that the polls will be open as well as what appears to be a booger (an act of bioterror?) above the name of the public library in Round Rock. Well, that’s helpful (the info, not the booger), I thought until I read the message at the bottom:

By voting early for all Republicans, you can zip in and out and make sure your vote is counted for Texas’ future.

I guess if I vote for Democrats my vote won’t be counted for Texas’ future? Or will I just have to wait in a longer line? Well, I better vote a straight GOP ticket if I want to make sure my vote will count.

Ok, let’s take a look at the next one. It’s from Republican Lt. Governor David Dewhurst. He’d like me to vote for him so that he can lead the effort to pass Jessica’s Law. The flyer ticks off all the ways sex offenders would be punished and has a picture of Jessica Lunsford who was raped and murdered by a previously convicted sex offender. This sounds good to me, and I applaud Mr Dewhurst for wanting to protect kids, but why, Mr. Dewhurst, haven’t you done anything about this already?

You’ve been the lieutenant governor, which means you’ve been in charge of the senate, for the past four years in a state completely controlled by your party. Was redistricting more important to you than protecting kids from sex predators? Well, Sir, I appreciate your concern for this issue, but I think I’ll vote for someone who hasn’t already squandered her time in office, thank you.

Now that the Texas GOP and the Dewhurst campaign have each wasted a few pennies trying to convince me that they care deeply about their party this state, I will apply the final insult… off to the RECYCLING BIN!

<evil laugh>BWAAAA-HAAAAA-HAAAA</evil laugh>