It’s high time I caught up with this little homework assignment George left me last week. It is the biggest meme I’ve ever seen…
FOODOLOGY
Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A. Olive oil and vinegar
Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A. Thundercloud
Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A. Right now? Fonda San Miguel
Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A. 20%, 21%, whatever it takes
Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick off of?
A. Bread. I would make a model prisoner since bread and water are two of my favorite things
Q. What is your favorite type of gum?
A. I was required to renounce all gum when I became a teacher
TECHNOLOGY
Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A. At home: this
At work, this view from our hotel last summer:
Q. How many televisions are in your house?
A. Two
BIOLOGY
Q. What’s your best feature?
A. I never directed a feature, only a few shorts.
Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A. Wisdom teeth and some front teeth when I was a kid
Q. Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
A. Maybe I have a sixth sense that’s good for something
Q. When was the last time you had a cavity?
A. A few years ago
Q. What is the heaviest item you lifted last?
A. Forty pounds of toxic dog food
Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A. Yes. I’m told I went skiing in Colorado in 1991. There is, however, no proof of this.
BULLSHITOLOGY
Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A. Only if I could do something about it
Q. Is love for real?
A. Yes. Can I get a witness over here?
Q. If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
A. Heironymous or Wolfgang, I go back and forth
Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A. Blue
Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A. By mistake, no. In fact, I swallowed an ibuprofen just this morning
Q. Have you ever saved someone’s life?
A. I’m told I have.
Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A. I don’t know.
DAREOLOGY
Q. Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
A. Perhaps out in the country
Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A. Prostitution isn’t my thing
Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
A. No
Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A. No, but someday I might never blog again for free
Q. Would you pose nude in a magazine for $250,000?
A. No.
Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000?
A. Hell, I might do that just for the bottle of hot sauce
Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
A. Never
Q. Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
A. Can I download episodes of Lost and watch them on an iPod?
Q. Give up MySpace forever for $30,000?
A. Yup
DUMBOLOGY
Q: What is in your left pocket?
A. iPod, memory stick, chapstick, contact lens solution
Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A. I liked it.
Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A. No
Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A. Stand
Q: Could you live with roommates?
A. Not anymore
Q: How many pairs of flip-flops do you own?
A. None since I blew out the last pair, stepped on a pop top, and had to cruise on back home…
Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A. I run into them all the time at work
Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A. This
LASTOLOGY
Q: Friend you talked to?
A. One of the other teachers at school
Q: Last person you called?
A. The vet
RANDOMOLOGY
Q: First place you went this morning?
A. The vet
Q: What can you not wait to do?
A. Finish my next novel
Q: What’s the last movie you saw?
A. Clue
Q: Are you a friendly person?
A. I try
Now that this towering meme is finished I tag (with humble apologies masking mischievous glee) my wife, Chris, and Danigirl.
Update: Keeping the meme alive – Danigirl and Chris.
James Brush is a teacher and writer who lives in Austin, TX. He tries to get outside as much as possible.
No way you get penalized for being late–you’ve had way too much on your mind to worry about a stupid meme.
And that cartoon of Edna is hilarious.
I’m in! Thanks for the tag!
I love the wallpaper photo! And hey, wouldn’t Heironymous Blog be a great title for a blog?
Danigirl, I like Heironymous Brush as well. Perhaps I’ll use H. Blog after the name change, though. Thanks for keeping the meme alive.
George, Thanks for your understanding. I was worried that my MPA (meme point average) would suffer.