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The Education of Greyhound Phoebe, Chapter the Last

in which Phoebe graduates

Phoebe Graduates

Phoebe graduated last night with a certificate in canine obedience. Amid the pomp and circumstance, she bid farewell to her classmates: Belle, Annie, Honey, and Teddy. She passed her exam with a few modifications (she still doesn’t do sit) and was able to walk with her peers.

This was a very good experience for us. At the start of class, Phoebe was basically afraid of me, afraid of strangers, afraid of other dogs, and wouldn’t take food from my hand, which is the basis of dog training.

After eight weeks with her excellent instructor, a former trainer of police dogs, Phoebe will take treats from my hand, stay, come, heel, and load up into the back of the car. That last is especially nice because now I don’t have to lift her into the back anymore. Most importantly, though, she seems to trust me.

She also likes strangers and their dogs. Whenever we see someone new on our neighborhood walks, Phoebe activates the propeller tail and tries to greet the new person. It’s hard to believe she was a spook when we got her back in October.

All told, this has been great fun and good for bonding and socialization even if she didn’t quite master the entire curriculum. So what does the future hold you ask? Well, like many of today’s young people Phoebe intends to stay home, hang out on the couch, drink our water, and eat our kibble.

That’s okay. She’s already had one professional career and retirement suits her well.

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The Education of Greyhound Phoebe, Chapter the Seventh

in which Phoebe gets bored while reviewing for finals

Last night’s class was not much more than a review for next week’s final exam. Most young scholars, be they students of literature or canine obedience, don’t really enjoy exam review, and Phoebe proved to be no exception.

She grew bored mid-way through and forgot who I was. She decided to ignore me completely and invest all her energy into her peer group. I don’t think she’s involved in drugs or gangs, but I’m watching her writing to make sure there isn’t any secret tagging going on.

The exam will consist of a demonstration of everything that has been learned so far, but for Phoebe ‘sit’ and ‘down’ have been modified to ‘stay,’ so we practiced stay, and we stayed, and kept staying. Phoebe nearly stayed a hole in the ground she stayed so well. Of course she is quite staid in public…

At the end of the class we were given a final project to do at home. The teacher wants us to teach our dogs a trick using the things we learned in class. She recommends ‘shake’ or ‘high-five’ so that’s what we’ll be working on as we cram for next week’s final.

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The Education of Greyhound Phoebe, Chapter the Sixth

in which Phoebe spreads the gospel

Despite last Saturday’s adventures, Phoebe was ready for class on Monday evening. She didn’t like me so much on Sunday morning but after a few rides in the car and a walk, things got better, and she realized that I wasn’t out to get her.

Last night’s class focused on combining lessons such as sit, stay and heel. Phoebe still won’t sit, but she does have a fairly good stay. We practiced walking around meeting other dogs who weren’t in the class. At each new dog, I was able to get Phoebe to stop, stay, politely greet the strangers and then resume walking when we grew bored talking to the new people.

We ran into several people who wanted to pet her because they’d never met a real live greyhound. I guess it isn’t everyday one gets to meet a former professional athlete, even if it is a dog. Phoebe loves the attention and wags her tail like a propeller, which of course the apes find amusing. It’s what got dogs out of the cold and into the cave all those many eons ago, but I digress. Phoebe made new friends and I got to do a little bit of greyhound proselytizing.

Her favorite new friends were a heavily tattooed lesbian couple walking their new puppies. They were impressed by Phoebe’s tattoos and will probably be going to get numbers tatooed in their ears just because Phoebe was so cool what with her tattoos and all. Their puppies were a bit much for Phoebe, but she wasn’t rude.

After witnessing to the hardships of greyhound life and how she was born again as Phoebe she got to spend the rest of the evening watching her classmates play and asking for treats from their owners.

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Visit Phoebe’s friends at the Carnival of the Dogs and don’t miss Doug Petch’s comment-a-thon benefiting greyhound rescue.

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Weekend Hound Blogging: Can You Hold Your H2O2?

Dogs will eat anything. Anything. Trash, wood, plastic, rotten food, rubber, bones, the list is as endless as a dog’s curiosity. We’ve learned this over the years because our hounds have on several occasions snacked upon that which they shouldn’t. A quick call to the animal emergency clinic gets us the correct dose of hydrogen peroxide for a dog’s weight and then we go out back to induce vomiting. I’ve done it several times.

The first time was shortly after we got our first dog, Zephyr. We learned she was a trash eater when she treated herself to a pound of rancid bacon and whatever else she found in the trash on a day that we did some ‘fridge cleaning. I called animal emergency and they provided me with the recipe for stomach cleaners, also known as hydrogen peroxide shots. I was instructed to give her a tablespoon every five minutes until she threw up.

Out we went to the driveway and commenced. It was nearly half an hour and much H2O2 later before she finally started. This was, of course, right when the neighbor came staggering over to meet the new dog who was now wobbling uncertainly and foaming at the mouth with long bubbly tendrils of bile dripping onto the soggy pile of half-digested bacon in front of her.

Meet my new dog.

The neighbor smiled and said in his permanently drunken twang, “She’s brindle. She’s beautiful.”

Zephyr, a trash hound if ever there was one, got pretty familiar with H2O2 over the years. When we got Daphne it sometimes became more difficult since we didn’t always know who the guilty party was, but we found that Daphne threw up much more quickly than Zephyr so while Zephyr might be hiding in a corner of the yard with her nose jammed under the fence, Daphne might hurl, thus revealing the evidence of the crime and sparing Zephyr another tablespoon of that most insidious poison.

As might be guessed, Phoebe entered the club last night. We came home from the Willie Nelson show to find that she’d eaten a rubberized nylabone. A call to animal emergency told me I would be inducing vomiting.

Despite being the biggest dog we’ve ever had, she’s a true lightweight when it comes to doing H2O2 shots. She asked if she could have it with some grenadine – an H2O2 sunrise – or even on the rocks, but I pointed out that real dogs do their shots straight up. Without salt, lime, or grenadine she took it like a trooper.

She hacked after the first one and then immediately after the second, she threw up, expelling the rubber scraps of her evening adventures. She went to bed singing, “Hydrogen peroxide river don’t run dry, you’re all I got to take care of me.” while I wondered why these things only ever happen in the middle of the night.

***

Want to make a fast friend by saving a greyhound in Central Texas? Check these pups out. Or go here to find a greyhound near you. You can also go here to find out why greyhounds are running for their lives.

If you have dogs who need proven leadership, go here to find a cat.

The Education of Greyhound Phoebe, Chapter the Fifth

in which Phoebe makes friends and realizes that other people will give her treats just for being cute

Despite the fact that it’s spring break, Phoebe still had to go to school. She didn’t really mind, though, since she’s made friends with all of the owners. She seems to like the humans more than her classmates. I suppose that’s because humans give treats whereas dogs take treats. She likes getting.

We worked on sit, which has been modified for Phoebe. When others do sit, Phoebe does stay, which I’m proud to say she is very good at. We practiced stay and come and worked a little bit on down, which she sometimes will do. The trick to it seems to be to catch her when she’s lying down anyway and then give the command followed by a treat. That’s our homework.

On the social front, Phoebe has made such good friends with the other owners that when she decides not to do whatever task is being practiced (and therefore not earning a treat from me) she just saunters over to someone else and asks for a treat. She stares at them with her big greyhound eyes, and they always melt and give her a treats as if it’s their privilege to do so. Of course she always comes back to me when I call her, which makes me happy.

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Visit Phoebe’s friends at the Carnival of the Dogs and don’t miss Doug Petch’s comment-a-thon benefiting greyhound rescue.

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Help a Greyhound!

Phoebe and Daphne

This is cool.

You can go to Doug Petch’s site and just leave a comment on this post, and he will donate 50 cents to a randomly chosen greyhound rescue group. All it takes is one comment and you can help beautiful, loving dogs escape the life of pure hell and misery to which they are accustomed on the track.

Greyhounds love to run, but if they don’t win, they get killed. Often brutally. They aren’t considered dogs in some states so they can be treated as disposable livestock. It’s a disgusting business and no one who has ever spent time around a friendly, gentle, affectionate grey (as they all are) will ever understand how people can mistreat them, but they do.

It is true that greyhounds are literally running for their lives. Considering that she lost her first two races, it is very surprising that our dog Phoebe wasn’t killed.

So go on. Leave a comment on Doug’s blog. Some greyhound out there losing his last race will thank you for it.

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The Education of Greyhound Phoebe, Chapter the Fourth

in which Phoebe contemplates the loneliness of the long-distance hound

Phoebe

Phoebe has now reached the midpoint in her education, but was happy to note that there are no midterms in this curriculum.

Last night we learned stay and come. The teacher would hold each dog’s leash while the dog’s person would slowly walk away giving the stay command. At a distance of about twenty feet she would release the dog so we could give the come command.

Phoebe went first. I slowly backed away giving the stay signal. Whenever she looked away I threw a watch me at her and while I was within ten feet, all was fine. Once I got past ten feet she lost interest in the game and began sniffing around, checking out the other dogs and doing whatever she wanted. She stayed, but probably because she wanted to.

Finally, I gave the come signal and started calling her over. She looked at me as if to say “oh, there you are” and she walked towards me. While she walked she contemplated her life, her existence as a racer, her foster home, her new home, the dog that moved in next door, Daphne and Morrison and the more she thought, the more she remembered, she knew that she could never sell out. The feet drifted by as in a dream and Phoebe knew that she could do any trick, learn any command, but only for herself. Not for the teacher, not for me, not for anyone.

She stopped a few feet short and refused to cross the finish line come up to me until I feigned disinterest at which point she decided she really did want the treat.

Towards the end of class we started work on lie down. Phoebe stared at the teacher, refusing to lay down. Then the teacher turned her back and the moment she wasn’t looking, Phoebe did lay down.

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Visit Phoebe’s friends at the Carnival of the Dogs!

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The Education of Greyhound Phoebe, Chapter the Third

in which Phoebe learns nuthin’

Greyhound Phoebe

Last night’s class was mainly dedicated to sit and loose-leash walking with introductions to heel. Phoebe is already great on a leash and came with heel pre-installed, so it was kind of like a free day for her.

We’re still working on sit, but Phoebe has mastered the other skills: watch me and leave it.

The teacher loves Phoebe, describing her as a gentle soul who is one of her all time favorite pupils. That’s probably why she gets more unearned treats than the other pups. All of this might be going to her head, though. When we got home Daphne followed her around wagging her tail and wanting to know what Phoebe had learned. After the butt-sniffing and play bows, I heard this exchange:

Daphne (wagging) – What did you learn?

Phoebe – Nuthin’

Daphne – What did they teach you?

Phoebe – Nuthin’

Ahh, teenagers. It reminds me of my school years. Perhaps she needs a project. I’m thinking we’ll try to turn a salad into a steak to see if it wakes Daphne up. Of course, greyhounds sometimes enjoy a good salad.

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Visit Phoebe’s friends at the Carnival of the Dogs!

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The Education of Greyhound Phoebe, Chapter the Second

in which Phoebe learns ‘leave it’ and questions the canigogical value of ‘sit’

After a week of doing ‘watch me’ homework, Phoebe went back to class to demonstrate her newfound talent and fill her pointy little head with more knowledge. The lessons for this week were ‘leave it’ and ‘sit.’

The teacher taught ‘leave it’ by placing treats on the floor near the dogs and then shooing them away when they went for the treats. The reward for not eating the treats was a treat from her hand. She worked with each dog individually while all the pupils looked on. Each dog grasped the lesson more quickly than the previous one, but Phoebe – ever the observer – picked it up the quickest, earning accolades and extra treats. Next we went for a walk so as to apply our newfound knowledge. Phoebe was quite good at ignoring whatever she was asked to ignore.

After the walk came ‘sit,’ a command that greys sometimes have trouble with since their racetrack training often teaches them not to sit. The teacher knew Phoebe would resist it so she said she’d work with Phoebe last in the hopes that she would get it by watching the others. Most of the others grasped it very quickly. Phoebe watched, knowing that treats were being given out, but unsure of what to do. Finally while the teacher was working with another pup, Phoebe sat. It was the first time I’d ever seen that dog sit. The teacher was thrilled and gave Phoebe a bevy of treats. Despite the treats, though, Phoebe saw no relevance for ‘sit’ in her life and suggested that she would never need to know ‘sit’ in the real world, so just as her owner once saw no relevance or need to know algebra, she declined to sit a second time.

The last ten minutes were devoted to recess. The other dogs played while Phoebe went around and introduced herself to the humans who are all very intrigued by the inherently gregarious and gentle nature of greyhounds. I was asked by one woman if greyhounds like to play, and I told her that they love to play, but they often only know one game: catch me if you can.

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Visit Phoebe’s friends at the Carnival of the Dogs!

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